TICKING CLOCK

The writing below started as a personal note, but for whatever reason it came bigger… This is my personal opinion and experience, and I’d love to share my thoughts... I don't intend to teach or tell anyone what you should do, just treat this as I'm thinking out loud.  I posted this note on a Crimson Daggers Forum, and to my great surprise, so many people shared their stories. Guess I didn't fully realized yet, that this community is even more comprehensive and supportive than I thought before...

We are getting so much energy listening to podcasts, interviews and talks. We get inspired and pumped when professional artists give us warning signs and useful advices. We nod our heads as we relate to the talks about struggle, each one of us trying to overcome, we make notes as we see the warning signs they are giving us, but do we really getting the message? Two years ago I heard one of the conversations that influenced me the most, as an artistic individual. Sadly I wasn’t ready for this… I hope I’m starting to realize it now.

I want to bring a quote, from the TALK I mentioned above, by Dan Warren.

You don’t want to get into a scenario where it’s a ticking clock. The longer you wait to start doing this kind of stuff, the worse it’s going to be… It’s going to get you the same amount of time, to get where you’re going, no matter when you’ll start, so don’t start late…It’s not healthy to think about the clock ticking, but it is!

And right now, after all this warning signs, written red by the people who wanted to ease my way so much… I’m in the middle of a situation, when clock on my desk is hammering me, right in the balls, with each passing second. Why?

I don’t want to turn this into a monologue, and talk too much about my journey, as the purpose of this read is to start a conversation.

When you hear a story of a struggle, with warning signs and advices from the person whose opinion is significant for you, you getting pumped and inspired. And you get a STUDY ATTACK. And I’m sure most of you can relate to that. I call this “ATTACK” because it has temporary behavior. Time will pass, flames will fade, and you’ll go back to DOTA, smoking a pipe with your friends or any other kind of procrastination. Your sketchbook is abandoned for months, catching dust… You have to wait for another ATTACK. Maybe two months, half of the year or two years, who knows? And while procrastination goes on, you still want it bad, but you drained out. But that clock is ticking. They say you’ll need 10000 hours to get good at what we are doing, and you can make this amount of hours in 3 years or 8 it’s up to you. How bad you want it?

God Bless if that’s never happened to you, and you can’t relate to what I’m saying, ‘cause if so, you probably already made it.

Why flames has to fade? Because we are doing it wrong… We don’t balance work correctly. STUDY ATTACK ends as we exhaust ourselves with a copying of landscapes, faces and tits! We do study for the sake of a study. We forget that study has to serve a purpose… We do it because we need to put that shit on our sketchbooks! If I’ll update daily I’ll get better. We are torturing ourselves with the most boring pieces of shit, chasing the next skill level, to the point where we can’t even remember why we started to draw… STUDY ATTACK ends suddenly, when you’re trying a new game, going out with friends or picking any other activity, and you shouldn’t blame yourself because it’s more fun! But clock is ticking…

Do yourself a favor, have fun… Do a job you always dreamed about. If you doing a freelance job you hate - finish it, and do the stuff you love. You don’t have to be contacted by Wizards or Applibot to draw the Trading Cards, do your own. Call it Magic of the Cryptids and get lost in these worlds of yours. Nobody gives a shit if your cards worse that the ones Min Yum did. The only person you should compare yourself to, it is you, and that’s all. There’s always be someone better, face it. Your personal growth matters most.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t do studies, but balance it. And do it purposeful. We need to put many hours of hard work for sure. A friend in the hangouts told me You’ve got only so much time before you die, so you should draw. How bad you want it? Sell Your Play Station or give it to your Friend. I shipped mine to my parents. From now on you got new exciting RPG to play and gain experience.

And if you’re in a situation where you don’t need to worry about getting a paycheck to pay your bills – take full advantage of it. But don’t let this make you feel safe, I did, and I know you got only few years before that clock will start ticking. I’ve got exposed to Concept Art and got my first tablet in 2005. Since then 10 years have passed and with a few last years, that ticking thing started to sound like a thunder.

Getting to know and becoming a friend with a people who shares your passion – breaking point. I took hid in a cave, where I was facing an infrequent STDUY ATTACKS from time to time for almost 10 years. And now I hated myself for doing so for such a long time. But it doesn’t matter as I’m unable to change the past, the present is most important. And I feel most passionate and focused on my journey than ever before. Human intercourse keeps this easily fading flame roaring. For the past month I learned more than for the last year.

Seek support and surround yourself with passionate people who are driven by the same desire as you do. I can’t express how easier it is, when you got an opportunity to talk to someone who shares your thoughts. Who can relate.

Have fun, make friends. Turn this sudden STUDY ATTACK to a lifelong incurable artistic disease. Don’t wait for the ticking clock to force you.

I hope that’s makes sense. And I’m sorry for wasting your time if it’s doesn’t.